


Blood in the Water

by vanishedSchism



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Critical Role Relationship Week, F/M, Rather than author typical violence, The rest of the Mighty Nein are mentioned, and the author's obvious pining for her, beau's soft heart and gruff demeanor, featuring fjord's awful patron, this one's safe for the kiddies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 17:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15005780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanishedSchism/pseuds/vanishedSchism
Summary: Fjord has a nightmare. Or, he thinks it's a nightmare. He's still seeing things.





	Blood in the Water

Water poured from his mouth. This was becoming a more regular occurrence. 

The water stung as it came up, like it had when he swallowed his sword. Except he hadn't done that this time. He hadn't done anything to his body

 _Consume. Blood. Power._

He was so hungry and there, everything that could possibly have been in his stomach was spilling across the ground. How did the blood get there? 

_Consume. Blood. Power._

The voice vibrated through his skull, his hands, his entire body. There was nothing but the voice. 

_Consume. Blood. Power._

The water was red.

"Hey, Fjord. Look at me." 

Fjord coughed again and the last of the saltwater (for now) dribbled out of his mouth. He felt spent, like he'd run a marathon, like he'd just drowned. 

"You okay there bud?" 

Fjord made some sort of sound, he was sure of it.

"Another dream?"

"You think?" 

Beau snorted. "Sorry, haha, sorry I guess that's insensitive. You're in some deep shit huh?"

Fjord stared at her, his sleep addled brain sorting through the comment. 

"Did you just... was that a joke?" 

Beau's eyes flicked to the puddle in front of Fjord. "Not funny, huh?" 

He smiled. "No." 

"Darn, I thought I was getting there." 

"You've got a ways to go darlin'." 

Beau smiled and Fjord smiled and he reached toward her, and he closed his hands around her neck and before she could push him away he twisted and- 

"Fjord. FJORD!" Someone was shaking him. He looked up and there was Beau, freaked out but fine, holding him as if he wasn't the one who just- 

"Fjord _look at me._ " 

He did. 

"Okay, I don't know what's going on with you, but I'm right here alright? I'm not gonna let any fucked up stone or sword or _whatever_ fuck with you, alright?" 

"Beau, you don't really-" 

"Yeah I know magic isn't really my strong suit, but we have Molly and Caleb and Jester and Yasha and Nott and they all _do_ understand magic and they also all have no idea what's going on with you, so I'm telling you that _regardless_ of the magic involved, _I'm_ here too." She crossed her arms, then uncrossed them, then punched him on the arm. 

"So don't discount me because I don't get magic." 

"I- I would never consider it." 

"Alright, good. Now that's settled you want to tell me what's going on?" 

Fjord closed his eyes, but then the images from his dream came back. Caleb, facedown in the water, Molly, sliced open from stomach to chin, Jester, still raggedly breathing, his sword buried in her stomach and coming out through the back-

His eyes flew open. "I'm thinking I need to stop sleeping." 

"Molly's on the other side of the camp, why don't you join my watch over here?" 

"Yeah I uh, I think that'd be good." 

Beau nodded and stood up and Fjord, after a second, set his sword on the ground and followed her. 

He sat down and Beau gave him the space to think. 

He wasn't sure he wanted it. His dreams... were getting worse. He liked to think of himself as a rational person, he'd certainly learned the value of thinking before speaking when he was a kid. He thought before he did most things, to be honest, before inviting someone to his table, before opening a private conversation, before getting into a fight, before trying to save someone's life... 

There were rules in his village, on the ship, there were rules here too, but it was taking time to understand them fully. And even what rules there were _we look out for the group first, we put morals over money, we don't trust easily,_ Beau seemed unconcerned by them.

It must be because of subtleties he was missing. Those pernicious _unlesses_ that took so long to understand, that could twist a rule into the opposite of what it was meant for. 

He sighed. 

"I thought I killed you." 

Beau's back stiffened, the only indication that she'd heard him. 

Fjord considered stopping there, but he figured he owed her an explanation. And he didn't want her to think of him that way, as a murderer. Even if it would be safer if she did. 

"Well you know about my dreams. I don't see much point in getting into the specifics with the group but they've been gettin' more vivid as of late." He looked at his hands, caked in Jester's blood. Dream Jester, but at some point that would stop mattering. 

"I get... urges. Durin' the dreams. Like with the stone, when I touched it and shoved it in my- Well you know. I don't remember all of them but I remember the important parts. I killed everyone. There's literal blood on my hands. I thought I killed you and I- I just don't know how I can trust myself." 

"It only happens in your dreams?" 

"Except for-" 

"Killing me." 

"Yeah." 

"Okay, well that's something you'll have to work on. I've got shit to do, I can't be getting gutted by my teammates." 

"I know, I'd throw away the sword but it'll come back to me, I'm sure of it." 

Beau blinked. "You'd do that? Throw it away?" 

"In a heartbeat, if I could." 

Beau looked at him for a long time, like she could see through his skin and clothes to all of the guilt and violence tangled underneath. Maybe she could. 

He couldn't remember the last time he felt this bare. 

Then she reached out and rested her hand on his. "I don't know how to save you Fjord. Honestly, I think the only that can save you is yourself. But I believe in you, and we're going to tell the rest of the group and we're all going to be there for you. You won't slip up, but if you do, we'll stop you. Because you're a better man than," she paused and pried open his fingers, exposing the cracked and dried blood on his palms, "than whatever this is."

**Author's Note:**

> I can't wait until we find out more about Fjord's patron but I am HERE for the inevitable angst


End file.
